Sometimes knowing exactly what you want to try next in the bedroom can be tricky.
Having an open mind is a great place to start, but sometimes we need a little extra inspiration.
If that sounds like you, then never fear, because we’ve put together a list of common sexual fantasies for you to pick and choose from.
This can be a fun and confidence-boosting part of foreplay.
Whether you want to do a Full Monty-Esque routine or a sensual lapdance, the most important thing is to have fun with it.
Roleplay lets you take yourself away from every day and try whatever scenario takes your fancy.
Teacher and naughty schoolgirl? Doctors and nurses? Cops and robbers? The fantasy worlds are your oyster.
While dressing up can be a key part of role play, you don’t have to pretend to be different people to enjoy different outfits and lingerie.
From crotchless underwear to a leather jacket, sometimes all you need is the right outfit to get spice things up.
Pretend you don’t know each other
Another close cousin of role-playing, pretending you’ve never met your partner can be pretty exciting.
Why no try going to a swank bar with your partner and sitting at different tables before one of makes the first move by asking the bartender to send over the other’s favourite drink…
If you want to give BDSM a try, former dominatrix Miranda Kane previously said the three words you need to remember are ‘safe, sane and consensual’, adding: ‘Don’t run before you can walk.’
She recommended that, before you start, you and your partner should agree on a safe word – a word or action that means ‘stop’ – that you both remain sober, and that you talk through exactly what your boundaries are.
She also wrote: ‘You don’t need a dungeon. You don’t need props, costume, or lighting. You just need confidence, communication and a bit of imagination.’
Switch your typical roles
Always the seducee rather than the seducer? Make the first move for a change, and give them a nice ego boost in one fell swoop.
Want to be chased rather than do the chasing for once? Tell your partner you want to take a turn being wooed.
It’s simple and straightforward but no less true – plenty of people fantasise about anal, especially if they’re curious but it’s not something they’ve done with their partner before.
If you’re one of those interested parties who has never done it before, you might want to start with smaller toys first and talking with your partner about the possibility of douching.
Sensation play can be a part of BDSM, but it doesn’t have to be all pain if that’s not what you’re into.
Whether you like the sound of hot wax and nipple clamps or feathers and sexy whispers, why not tell your partner some of your favourite sounds, tastes and sensations.
Then, have them blindfold you and make you guess which ones they’re using on you.
Sometimes it can be nice to put the shoe on the other foot if the other foot is keen.
Beginners could try using fingers and toys before graduating to a strap-on.
This one might have to wait until the vaccine comes in, because if you’re into watching people getting down and dirty you might consider going to a sex club.
That way you and your partner can look to your heart’s content around consenting adults while they get their freak on.
Probably another one for when we’re a bit more ‘back to normal’, one of the safest places to practise exhibitionism is in a sex club or similar environment.
Alternatively, if you find a few like-minded individuals and have top-notch cyber-security, you could organise a group video chat to see if doing it remotely works for you.
Whatever you’re into, chances are there’s a sex toy out there for you.
There’s a world of dildos, vibrators, butt plugs and more to explore, with an ever-expanding list of things you can add to your toy chest – have fun shopping around with your partner to see what they like too.
Watch porn together
If you and your partner both enjoy watching porn solo, then there’s a good chance you’ll enjoy it together too.
Why not take turns picking a clip, so one of you gets to pick out something they know they like while the other will get the thrill of a surprise.
Introduce a (Covid-safe) third party, Unfortunately, until the pandemic is in the past, the only way to have a threesome is to commit to having that person in your social bubble.
If you’re willing to do that, then full steam ahead. If not, then hopefully you won’t have to wait too long…
‘Rough’ is a pretty subjective term – as long as everything is consensual and no one is in danger of serious harm, you can be as rough or semi-rough as you like.
If you’re curious but a bit tentative, try starting off with some light spanking and hair-pulling.
Oil up Popular in pornos, body oil can be pretty flattering and sexy when applied generously.
Why not start off your next sexual encounter with a massage, rubbing the oil, well, wherever you want.
Sex in a car Having sex in a car can be a great bit of spur-of-the-moment fun. All you need to do is park up somewhere quiet and secluded when the mood takes you, and enjoy the thrill of the danger of getting caught.
Along with being thought of as erotic, shibari – or the ancient Japanese art of bondage – is also used for mental stimulation and relaxation.
We previously asked Neil, a longtime shibari enthusiast, for tips for beginners.
He said: ‘It’s easy to get started with rope, check out Two Knotty Boys and their book Showing you the Ropes as a simple getting started guide.’
‘And remember’, he added, Always keep a pair of safety shears in your rope bag. Never tie into the crease of a joint as this can cause circulation problems. Never leave a tied person alone. Always use proper rope, never twine, washing line or anything too thin.’
Make a sex tape
If you’ve got a partner you really trust and cracking digital security, why not make your very own porno?
You’ll be able to enjoy those memories for years to come.
Keep your clothes on
This fantasy might be simple, but – with its connotations of uncontrollable passion that simply can’t wait – that doesn’t make it any less sexy.
If you want to make more of an event of it, why don’t you and your partner dress up in your Gladrags for the occasion?
Plenty of people find the idea of screwing someone in a suit pretty hot…
Similar to role play, cosplay is where you dress up as a specific character rather than assuming a more generic new identity like a doctor or school teacher.
Fantasy and sci-fi fans could get a real kick out of their partners dressing up as their fictional crushes.
Some people get off on the idea or sight of their significant other getting it on with someone else.
While this fantasy is somewhat impeded by the pandemic, you could start to lay the groundwork by browsing dating apps together and starting conversations with people who might want to meet when that’s allowed again.
Gender-bending A fun way to mix things up could be dressing in drag or in certain clothing typically ascribed to a different gender.
It can feel sexy, powerful and get you in a mindset you may have never been in before. You might also see your partner in a whole new light…
Sploshing For the uninitiated, sploshing is when people rub food all over themselves for sexual pleasure. As with everything you can enjoy sploshing as extreme or as vanilla as you like.
If you want to dip a toe in these waters, why not try getting in the shower or bath and rubbing whipped cream, edible lube or chocolate sauce on some of your partner’s more sensitive bits, making sure any actual foodstuffs stay away from any vaginas, lest they run the risk of causing thrush.
If you find the act of rubbing on the food doesn’t do it for the two of you, you can also try licking the food off and/or having a nice, erm, hot shower afterwards.
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